So this whole blogging thing...

Apparently, I'm not very good at it. It was SO. MUCH. EASIER. with just one kiddo. That second one. MAN 2 kids is a time suck vortex. I have zero ideas how people with more than 2 even handle life. Kuddos. For reals.

Anyhow, this is basically a post just to say I'm still alive, sometimes just hanging on by a thread, but here. I'm still navigating our crunchy lifestyle in the south. I'm meeting new people and getting some really good info which I'm stoked about....cause Whole Foods for everything is getting a little boring. I need a little variety in my life.

I'm also posting a lot less on FB. Not intentionally.....well kinda intentionally. I'm trying to just maybe not be on social media as often. Although the beginning of September was girlfriend's birthday party, my birthday, parents visiting, and all sorts of fun shenanigans so OVERPOSTER for sure. But I'm trying to hold back a bit now. And outside of the food pics I've put up, it's been some fairly lame repeats for the past month. Still yummy, just not exciting picture worthy foods. I would love to get back to doing new things almost nightly and blogging about all my fun discoveries...but we live on this AMAZEBALLS cul-de-sac and right around 5pm, all the kiddos are home from various schools and the mammas are home and it is time to get our play on. That used to be primetime dinner prep, but you know? Chilling out is way more important. So I braise some stuff during boyfriend's nap (and let's be honest....braises don't photograph well), and that way I can hang. I hover right in between introvert and extrovert and after a full day with just the kidlets, I SUPER DESPERATELY NEED TO TALK TO LOGICAL BEINGS. FOR. THE. LOVE. Otherwise, I end up talking to the hubbs like he's a child, and that works out for no one.

So there's my litany of excuses of why I suck at blogging right now. And possibly for the foreseeable future. Although....light at the end of the tunnel- perhaps I can start sneaking away once boyfriend falls asleep and type a little. He loves to snuggle, but lately big sister has been his target, and I'm all in on that train. We shall see.

In the meantime, I've found a few life hacks that have been helping budget wise and "I just can't find it out here" wise. For starters, we get INCREDIBLE bacon. This bacon is life affirming. It's black forest bacon from whole foods. There's also some seriously delish hickory smoked bacon from Ted's Butcherblock. Both are thick cut goodness, and render out some serious fat. We pour it into mason jars and BAM. Lard. Because I cannot find organic lard. And I need it to make tortillas and carnitas and fry potatoes in and just in general I need lard in my life. Trying to use all of the animal and all. Totally worth it.

Also trying to heal from 3 bulging discs. Apparently, my son hit the tipping point of how much weight I could carry on my front for hours on end while standing around and I went and ruined my lower back and hips. Awesometastic. So I've been trying to naturally get rid of inflammation using food, stretching, and foam rolling instead of cortisone shots. I'm also getting regular massages from a massage therapist and gonna give acupuncture a go. Frankincense oil has been so fabulous to rub right where the pain is- way better than any OTC ibuprofens or muscle rubs. I've been taking BCQ supplements (Bromelain, Curcumin, and Quercetin). I'm adding a lot more turmeric into my diet as well (curcumin) but since bromelain is from pineapples and I'm allergic to them, I have to stick to these supplements. Also omega 3 fish oils and vitamin d for absorption. I'm also drinking bone broth. Not gonna lie- I do not love it. It's not horrible but I'd rather make food with it than just straight drink it. If all of this works to heal my back I'll write a more detailed post about it, since I have had a hard time finding info on it, but I know I don't want to just take a shot of something to make me feel better but that ultimately will weaken the ligaments and not promote the healing of these discs. Meanwhile, I'm trying to convince my son that strollers are awesome....he's currently not buying it.

I'm also reading a poop book. BECAUSE OF COURSE I AM. I thought we were all done with the holding back in April. It seemed we were completely on board to just poop when you have to poop. We even started holding back a bit with the prune juice. And then. Potty training. So girlfriend has known how to pee in the potty for a year and a half. She never goes over night, rarely has accidents in underwear, and loves to announce to people that she's a big girl and always pees and poos in the potty (which is just not accurate- she's pooped once in the potty). So there are days she asks to wear underwear. And on those days, she REFUSES to poop. Doesn't talk about it or anything. Just holds it in. And then, we're right back to me poop doula-ing it out of her after 2 or 3 days, sitting in the bathtub and cheerleading it on. UGH. No one enjoys this. And it's been 2 years now, so I'm just OFFICIALLY OVER IT.

So I bought the book "It's No Accident- Breakthrough solutions to your child's wetting, constipation, uti's, and other potty problems" by Steve Hodges.  Not gonna lie. Don't love his love for miralax. But he does have a lot of good advice in this book, and insight. And I am totally gonna do an enema on girlfriend because I have a feeling if we x-rayed her we'd find a pretty good sized poop mass. I'm hoping we can clear her out, and then get a fresh start with the pooping and the potty training- leaving out the miralax and keeping things soft with more fiber and more prune juice. It's just all a work in progress right now.

So yeah. That's where I'm at. everything comes down to poo.

loves!!

Parenting is hard y'all...constipation, vaccinations, and a newborn

Yup. It's been too long.

After pregnancy was done kicking my ass, we brought home a baby boy. Under VERY different circumstances than babygirl. Little man was born at exactly 38 weeks via planned c-section, weighing 6 lbs 15 oz and 19.7 inches long. They were able to totally follow my birth plan, including putting him directly on me after pulling him out. He was held there by daddy and a nurse since I was trying my hardest not to puke everywhere. (That came the rest of the day, as I held and nursed him while simultaneously puking into a measuring cup. FAAAAAANtastic.) And we left the hospital after 2 1/2 days.

He is the mini Serbian that's for sure. Spitting image of daddy, except for the butt chin.

He's been surprisingly easy. He lets anybody hold him (although he fusses if he's put down, but since I'm all attachment parenting that works for me), he sleeps all the time, and was an excellent nurser right from the get go. I SOOOOO get how lucky I am. Babygirl was (and still is) high needs, so having a baby that's easy going is completely new, and welcome, territory.

And here's where the hard comes in. She LOVES "baby Asher". Wants to hold him everyday, wants to kiss and hug and play with him. Talks about him a lot. She does NOT love that mommy is occupied with him. She gave me the cold shoulder in the hospital and didn't really unthaw until we were home for a day or two. EPIC. MELTDOWN. We did our time-in (I take her into a different room and sit with her as she melts down and wait for her to calm down and talk to me....it's amazing how well this works for her). She screamed for about 20 minutes. Then she looked at me, with just the saddest eyes that I will NEVER forget, she screamed, and then she crumpled. As did I. We both started sobbing, she threw herself into my lap while I just stroked her hair and told her that I know and I'm sorry that I wasn't spending as much time with just her, and we fell asleep. And she's been good with me ever since.

BUT.

She started holding in her poop. I don't know if it's because she remembers how much it hurt when she got all stopped up right before baby came and now she's afraid to poop, or if it's just that toddler thing where new baby affects potty. But girlfriend strains to hold it in. Among prune juice, flaxseed oil, smoothies with spinach and yogurt and berries and chia seeds and coconut oil, apples, pears, figs, cherry tomatoes, olives.....this stubborn little thing STILL HOLDS IT. And then we have to start to coach and cheer her on when it's obvious she's trying to hold it. "Push em out, shove em out, waaaaay out!". 

Yes, we have actually said that. In cheerleading fashion.

Then, she decided that she also would start screaming in pain while I tried to brush her teeth. Prior to baby, this was one of her favorite things to do. She even had a "practice" toothbrush she carried around with her so she could brush them all the time.

And the tantrums. Everything is now asked for with a whine and a whimper. Cause baby gets attention when he cries so hey why not? UGH. Her pediatrician said it was fine and he would be concerned if she weren't affected by his arrival. But I just CAN. NOT. Nana is leaving today and hubbs went back to work today, and I am just tired. I'm hoping that once we get into some semblance of normal, she'll start to get back to her old self. Until then she will continue to bust out phrases like "kill me now" like she did this morning (she *may* have heard mommy utter this under her breath while dealing with the brushing of the teeth).

And on top of the fun that never ends, there's a measles outbreak in Seattle. Frickin measles. If you read my blog, you may know how I feel about vaccinations. I don't think they're all bad, but I DO think that they give WAY too many at one time and at WAY too early an age, especially for someone that was born premature and is too tiny and may have digestive system issues, putting her at risk for vaccine injury. My gut instinct was to keep her from getting most vaccines until she was at least of school age, and to avoid some of them altogether (she will NEVER get the flu vaccine, and neither will anyone else in my family). I did 2 months of nonstop research while she was in the NICU, reading all the good, the bad and the ugly. I read several books, including my favorite, the Dr. Sears Book on vaccines. But since she doesn't go to daycare or school I thought I could avoid making this decision until she was 5. And then I got pregnant.

At little man's first pedi appointment, our doc, who is very vocal about which vaccines he thinks are garbage and which he feels strongly you should get, and who is also very pro alternative scheduling, asked if we were going to get her the MMR vaccine since measles are in the area. And hubbs and I have had a lot of conversations, all tear soaked by me, about the issue. We called my in laws, one was a surgeon in Serbia and now does alternative medicine therapy, and one was a pediatrician, and asked their opinion. I read more. I prayed. I cried. I prayed some more. I felt guilty about the whole "herd immunity" thing....and then I felt guilty for feeling guilty because my daughter could very well be one of the kiddos that had a too sensitive immune system to handle a vaccine like MMR. Because regardless of the debunked scientist regarding the autism claim, there are still PLENTY of parents who now have children with unalterable health issues due to the MMR vaccine. Seizures, brain injury, digestive health issues, etc. And I was NOT about to jeopardize her health because of someone else's child. Her health is number one on my list.

Except now we have a newborn as well. A newborn who I would prefer did not catch the measles. Well crap. So what's worse? I'm not concerned about babygirl getting the measles because she's never even had a fever, so I know she would be ok, although it would be unpleasant. But I'm pretty sure a newborn with measles is not a situation we want.

So I cried some more. A lot. Still crying actually. And we decided to do it. To vaccinate her. She's 2 1/2, she's been really healthy, and not only are the measles here, but we're flying to Jersey over Memorial Day weekend and they hit on the east coast too.

So nana and I took her today. She did not even flinch when she got the shot. No crying. Nothing. Just calmly ripped the band aid off of her leg and resumed playing with the dolls in the room. And so far, she still seems unaffected by it. My stomach is in knots, but I'm praying everything will be just fine.

These decisions. These parenting moments. These bumps in the road that were not expected. These are all really really hard. And torturing me. I'm an extremely visual person, and I like to jump to catastrophe (in my head). For 2 weeks, all I could think was that we would lose our sweet, happy, feisty, stubborn as hell babygirl to a vaccine that I didn't want her to get in the first place. Luckily, it looks like I was all drama for no reason. But it tore me up. And it's only gonna get worse. Because she'll eventually be a teenager and I can dream up all sorts of awful scenerios that I can't control and LOSE MY FREAKIN MIND on a daily basis.

Awesome.

Maybe these decisions will be a bit easier with little man. Less drama all around for him.

But probably not. Once a drama queen and all that....