ALL THE FEELS

So this has been a long time coming. I have been SUCH a slacker about this blog. There have been a few times were I made something that was deliciously fantastic, and started to blog about it, and didn't get around to finishing. I just have not had it in me.

The scoop. Last April, while we were house hunting, I was ergo wearing my 1 year old. For at least 10 hours a day. While standing and looking at homes. On the plane ride home I noticed that my back was killing me and would not settle down. Our chiro tried working on it, but nothing was really helping. He said he thought it could be a disc issue....but then we moved to Charleston, and I started to see another chiro.

After about a month, my new chiro, Dr. Kukes of Elite Health solutions, said the same thing and I went for an MRI in early September. And what he said was "I have never seen an MRI this bad with the amount of flexibility and movement you have." Basically, it's because I have 2 toddlers and zero choices about being able to move around and function. I wasn't letting it effect my life. I was just pushing through the pain and doing what I needed to do.

With 3 bulging discs, but still able to walk, stand, and do life, I was doing all the natural things I could think of to fix the problem.  I drank warm lemon, cayenne pepper, black pepper, & turmeric water every morning. I took 4 fish oils (omega 3's), 3 hemp oils, 2 BCQ supplements, and a raw vitamin d supplement to help stop inflammation. I did all the stretches I'm supposed to, I foam rolled, I stayed as active with walking as I could. I did acupuncture. I drank all the anti-inflammation smoothies. I did not, however, stop picking up my son. I also occasionally still stuck him in the ergo because desperate times and all. I did not stop DOING ALL THE THINGS, or even slow down doing them, because of pain.

By Christmas time, it was definitely not feeling great, but I thought since we were going up to Jersey for 2 weeks and the hubbs was off from work that I'd get a nice relaxing break- no cooking, no cleaning, help with running after the small one. I also got a super intense deep tissue massage right before we left. Christmas break was supposed to be my saving grace.

Instead- the massage made me a little achey. The tightness in my hip was apparently keeping everything in check. And the cold weather seeped into my bones, and I suddenly started to notice where they said my disc had completely degenerated in the form of a bone-deep, arthritic ache that nothing could touch.

The drive home was unpleasant. And during those 12 hours, hubbs and I discussed our plan forward for life. By the end of the Jersey trip, in order to stand up straight and walk, I had to lay down and stretch for at least 10 minutes. Even after I would just go to the bathroom- any kind of sitting meant I had to start all over again with the stretching to get me totally straight again. But once I got walking, I was fine. But we both decided that it wasn't really feasible to continue life with 2 active kiddos that way. And we agreed that perhaps now was the time to call in the hail mary and get the cortisone shot. We thought, just one and done, and I can continue to get my back into shape with exercise and supplements, but still be able to do all the things I need to do.

We make plans and God laughs.

I made an appt with the Spine Institute right down the road from my house. They saw me for about 15 minutes, looked at my MRI from September, told me I should get the shot, sent me downstairs for it, and in I went. I asked not to be sedated (which was just what they typically did). They gave me an IV in my arm "just in case" and sent me into a waiting area. It was all very assembly line like. The doctors administering the shot were joking about vacay time and stuck me in the back with a giant needle and sent me on my way. They said it could take up to 14 days to feel the effects so they would see me back in 2 weeks.

Enter my own personal hell.

It did not feel any different when I left. Which I thought was a little weird. But whatevs. That night was pretty bad, but I took some ibuprofen and was able to get a little sleep. The next day the shit hit the fan in a big way.

I was writhing on the floor in pain, after attempting to come down the stairs and make breakfast for my kiddos. Pretty sure I threw a bag of crackers at them, grabbed my phone and sobbed to the nurse. The pain was like nothing I had ever felt before. She said it was normal and she would have a prescription waiting for my hubbs to go pick up and fill.

It was, of course, for a pill that not only was NOT an anti-inflammatory, but also was not a great one for a nursing mamma- something I told them multiple times that I am. Awwwwwweeeeeeesome.

So I scoured our medicine cabinets and found a bottle of oxycodon from my c-section with baby boy. They were old, but it was almost full and I knew it was safe for nursing. So those kept me alive that week. I couldn't move. I could barely crawl out of bed to go to the bathroom, nursing positions were agony, sitting, standing, laying down- all of it were just the most pain I have ever been in. I would rather have a c-section EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK then go through that pain again. I called the nurse every day to tell her how bad it was and that I didn't think it was normal (and neither did any one else) but she said it was fine, and that if I was still nursing then I could just take ibuprofen. Super super helpful.

I went to my chiro in the hopes that he could do something, anything to help relieve the pain that the oxy was only taking the edge off of. I was literally bent over in half trying to walk into his office. He told me that my back was in such a severe spasm it was no wonder I was like that. He used a heating pad with moisture to try and relax the spasming. He had to do that 3 different times that week, and I finally bought one so I could do it at home. We also started using a TENS machine in the hopes that it would help tame the inflammation and spasming. I also bought one of those.

My acupuncturist tried to help as well, and it did for a bit, but this pain was ridiculous and would not be killed. Hubbs took the rest of the week to work from home so he could take care of the kids, and my mom flew down over the weekend, because it was pretty clear that I was unable to be at home alone.

The 2 week mark was approaching, and I went ahead and cut off any other appointments with the Spine Institute. It was pretty clear they had no interest in individual patients, and they didn't really know what they were doing, since they essentially paralyzed me for 2 weeks. The pain started to back off a bit, but there was no walking happening. There was barely standing. Sitting didn't feel that great either.

 I scheduled an appt with back specialist Dr. Bright McConnell, but he's crazy busy (because he's amazing) so it took 2 weeks to get in to see him (and it was only that soon because of a cancellation in his schedule). In the meantime, I tried to do the TENS machine, and ice and use the moist heat whenever I could, and I tried desperately to get around, even though it was completely hunched over. I used the stroller to lean on as much as possible. And then I realized. I needed a cane.

That's right. Big old, blingy cane. And yes, I managed to go out for a girl's night because it had been almost 2 months of me laid up in my house and I wanted to get all pretty again. I, of course, did that sitting down (which drying your hair in bed is strangely relaxing). But I did it. I was not super prepared for the staring (or maybe I just thought people were staring) but whatevs. It is what it is. So I rolled with it.

And also. Yes. That is the absolute most I could stand straight up. And I was pushing it so I could get a decent picture. I was full queen of the tilt.

And I was still under the impression that this was an easy fix.  I've known plenty of people who have bulging discs and they bounce back pretty quickly.

And then, the day before my first appointment with Dr. McConnell, I was sitting on the couch, and suddenly, everything from my hip down went all pins and needles. It felt like a waterfall inside my leg. I got up to go to the bathroom, and on the way back, I remembered what my mom had said about the heel and the toe test. If you can still walk on just your heels, and just your toes, then it's fine. So I tried it. And when I tried to walk on my toes, my whole foot rolled . Tried again. Same story. So I cried, and called my mom, who told me to call my chiro, who had me come in.

Turns out, I have nerve damage. I didn't have nearly as much feeling in my left foot and calf as I did on the right (couldn't really tell the difference between a sharp pokey thing and a dull one). This raised the stakes considerably. Because if I didn't get this crap worked out, and soon, I would probably have permanent nerve damage.

So I went to the doc and had some scary conversations and then was scheduled for another MRI. Apparently, everyone and their mother must be breaking themselves in Charleston, because between all of the Imaging places, the soonest they could get me in was 1 week. And then another almost full week to go back to the doc to talk about it. And yup. Between September and February, I had absolutely done more damage. My S1 was now invited to the party, not just L4 and L5. Thank you hip, for crapping out on me, too.

So we scheduled me to see Dr. Goltra, who is basically brilliant, and not only does he do cortisone shots, but he also is the guy that reads the MRI's to tell you what's going on. It took FOREVER to get in to see him (again- super popular and brilliant), but when the nurse heard I could barely walk, had 2 toddlers to take care of and it had been almost 2 full months of me being non-functional, she stuck me in a cancellation slot.

It, of course, was the week the hubbs got sent to Seattle for work. So my parents drove down to take care of me. Seriously...who can even live without them??? Filling my freezer with SO MUCH FOOD and taking care of the kids. Dropping their lives to help me out. They are just the best.

So in I go. And he tells me that I have a mild spinal stenosis. Which means my spinal column is too narrow, and over the years it gets more and more narrow. Which means, if I have bulging discs, it will affect my nerve a lot more quickly because it doesn't have very far to go. AWESOME. He also tells me that it is fully pushing on my nerve (cue foot falling asleep all the time, 2 toes that are constantly pins and needles, and peg leg if I try to walk for more than 10 minutes at a time). I stand up and turn around and he says that he can physically see that my nerve is swollen- and if he can see that through my clothes and skin it means I've REALLY managed to piss it off. It's no wonder I'm in this much pain, why on earth did I go to the Spine Institute, and he knows he'll be able to help. And also, NOT to go get surgery. He said "If anyone tells you you need surgery, you come talk to me."

And then he gives me 2 shots. One is the typical cortisone shot. The other he's putting basically directly on my nerve to tame it out, otherwise I'd never be able to do any sort of rehab on my back.

It works IMMEDIATELY. I can stand up straight. I walk to the car. Dad drives me home. I try and walk up the stairs. My leg is now complete jelly (I was warned this may happen) and Dad is behind me, trying to make sure I don't fall while I'm cracking up because no matter what I do, my leg refuses to listen to me. Novocaine of the leg for sure.

I make an appointment for 3 weeks later. I am told that I am still not to push it. No real walking, not too much standing. Basically what I've been doing for the past 2 months, to allow the shot to heal me. I *try* to listen, but let's face it, I don't. I mean, I kinda do, but I pushed it a bit. And I felt it.

So 3 weeks later, I get the 2 shots again. And I'm given the all clear to start physical therapy. Where I'm currently 2 weeks in. Doing traction and stretches. Not much else. Walking, with a stroller or some sort of support, until my foot starts to go numb (which is currently about 6 minutes). If the numbness is still occurring that means the nerve is still aggravated, which should be worked out by the traction after a while. And THEN I can FINALLY do strength training and yoga.

HOLY LORD it's been a loooooong process. The original shot from hell was mid January. It's now April, and I still can't do things like bring my kids anywhere by myself without doing some serious damage to my back. And yes. I've tried. BECAUSE I NEVER LEARN THINGS.


In the midst of all of this, my amazing friends sat me down (well, I was already sitting, wrapped up in my blanket because apparently I was now cold all the time as well), and they said "we know it's hard to accept help. But we're sistering you. And you have no choice. Just take it." Which is basically the best thing that anyone could ever say. Cause they're right. If they asked what they could have done for me, I would have said "Nothing. We're fine. But thank you." And then hubbs, who was doing all the things all the time, would've cheerfully choked me. But they didn't ask. They told. And they brought us meals. And they played with our kids. And they brought me chocolate and magazines. And they hung out in our driveway so that I wouldn't have to walk anywhere, just sit in my chair wrapped up in a blanket.

And I read a whole lot. And I realized a whole lot. I realized how very blessed we were to move into a community a few short months prior, and to have made such amazing friends, who were there when I was down for the count. Most of whom lived in my cul-de-sac. God put us exactly where we needed to be. I also realized that PERHAPS the reason we were in this mess is because I super super suck at accepting help, never mind trying to ask for it. Little Miss I-Can-Do-It-By-Myself learned some serious lessons in humility. And also, the beauty of leaning on your village.

There was a night when hubbs got some weird 24 hour pukey bug, and there was a crock pot of food sitting on our high countertop. I almost tried to reach up to put it in the fridge but realized that if I ever wanted to get better, I had to start acknowledging that I could no longer lift ALL THE THINGS. I texted my neighbor Kirsten for assistance. I admit, it was hard to ask for help. But she, and later, hubbs, both agreed that if I had tried to lift that crock pot, there may have been a throw down. And after she left, I realized I was a little proud of myself for finally reaching out. And I've tried to be good about it since then. Tried being the key word.

I'm just starting to get back into the kitchen. I'm not making any fancy pants things. I don't always make bread- sometimes I allow him to buy the organic fresh baked stuff from Whole Foods. Hubbs always has to help. And most of the time, I do as much as I can sitting down. We hired a cleaning crew to come every other week. I actually hired Kirsten's niece to watch the kiddos when I go to physical therapy. I mean, WHO EVEN AM I!?!?!

Most days, I'm ok with all of this. Some days, I feel like I'm failing at life since my whole job in life is to take care of the kids and the house. But I'm trying to give myself some grace. This is just a season, and keeping all the people alive is my job-  the clean house and yummy food is a nice benefit for all. (Please see "Cleaning up is not my destiny" by my brilliant friend, Michelle).

And maybe it's all the reading of all the books I've done (hello Jen Hatmaker, Shauna Niequist, Glennon Melton, and THE BIBLE)- but I'm noticing a softening of my heart. There's way less anger and rage. Way more compassion and grace. Which is interesting for this blog, as it's based on raging about all the ways I hate Monsanto and how our government is poisoning us. Which I still believe. I'm just not into yelling about it as much anymore. I'm trying more of a gentle nudge approach. So there's that. At some point there'll be a whole post on that. I've got other things on my mind currently...

So, yeah. You haven't heard from me in a while. And this is why. I'm still healing. I actually tried to write this post a month ago. I got a ways through it, and then my computer decided not to save it. And I was all done with that nonsense.

And also, this is a better place to leave it.

Taking this stuff one day at a time. Trying to find the humor. Hoping I haven't broken myself permanently. I'm not gonna win any awards by paralyzing myself trying to do it all alone.

I have really smart friends (near and far) who have gently beaten that into my skull. And I'm a slow learner, but I'm getting there.

Loves!

So this whole blogging thing...

Apparently, I'm not very good at it. It was SO. MUCH. EASIER. with just one kiddo. That second one. MAN 2 kids is a time suck vortex. I have zero ideas how people with more than 2 even handle life. Kuddos. For reals.

Anyhow, this is basically a post just to say I'm still alive, sometimes just hanging on by a thread, but here. I'm still navigating our crunchy lifestyle in the south. I'm meeting new people and getting some really good info which I'm stoked about....cause Whole Foods for everything is getting a little boring. I need a little variety in my life.

I'm also posting a lot less on FB. Not intentionally.....well kinda intentionally. I'm trying to just maybe not be on social media as often. Although the beginning of September was girlfriend's birthday party, my birthday, parents visiting, and all sorts of fun shenanigans so OVERPOSTER for sure. But I'm trying to hold back a bit now. And outside of the food pics I've put up, it's been some fairly lame repeats for the past month. Still yummy, just not exciting picture worthy foods. I would love to get back to doing new things almost nightly and blogging about all my fun discoveries...but we live on this AMAZEBALLS cul-de-sac and right around 5pm, all the kiddos are home from various schools and the mammas are home and it is time to get our play on. That used to be primetime dinner prep, but you know? Chilling out is way more important. So I braise some stuff during boyfriend's nap (and let's be honest....braises don't photograph well), and that way I can hang. I hover right in between introvert and extrovert and after a full day with just the kidlets, I SUPER DESPERATELY NEED TO TALK TO LOGICAL BEINGS. FOR. THE. LOVE. Otherwise, I end up talking to the hubbs like he's a child, and that works out for no one.

So there's my litany of excuses of why I suck at blogging right now. And possibly for the foreseeable future. Although....light at the end of the tunnel- perhaps I can start sneaking away once boyfriend falls asleep and type a little. He loves to snuggle, but lately big sister has been his target, and I'm all in on that train. We shall see.

In the meantime, I've found a few life hacks that have been helping budget wise and "I just can't find it out here" wise. For starters, we get INCREDIBLE bacon. This bacon is life affirming. It's black forest bacon from whole foods. There's also some seriously delish hickory smoked bacon from Ted's Butcherblock. Both are thick cut goodness, and render out some serious fat. We pour it into mason jars and BAM. Lard. Because I cannot find organic lard. And I need it to make tortillas and carnitas and fry potatoes in and just in general I need lard in my life. Trying to use all of the animal and all. Totally worth it.

Also trying to heal from 3 bulging discs. Apparently, my son hit the tipping point of how much weight I could carry on my front for hours on end while standing around and I went and ruined my lower back and hips. Awesometastic. So I've been trying to naturally get rid of inflammation using food, stretching, and foam rolling instead of cortisone shots. I'm also getting regular massages from a massage therapist and gonna give acupuncture a go. Frankincense oil has been so fabulous to rub right where the pain is- way better than any OTC ibuprofens or muscle rubs. I've been taking BCQ supplements (Bromelain, Curcumin, and Quercetin). I'm adding a lot more turmeric into my diet as well (curcumin) but since bromelain is from pineapples and I'm allergic to them, I have to stick to these supplements. Also omega 3 fish oils and vitamin d for absorption. I'm also drinking bone broth. Not gonna lie- I do not love it. It's not horrible but I'd rather make food with it than just straight drink it. If all of this works to heal my back I'll write a more detailed post about it, since I have had a hard time finding info on it, but I know I don't want to just take a shot of something to make me feel better but that ultimately will weaken the ligaments and not promote the healing of these discs. Meanwhile, I'm trying to convince my son that strollers are awesome....he's currently not buying it.

I'm also reading a poop book. BECAUSE OF COURSE I AM. I thought we were all done with the holding back in April. It seemed we were completely on board to just poop when you have to poop. We even started holding back a bit with the prune juice. And then. Potty training. So girlfriend has known how to pee in the potty for a year and a half. She never goes over night, rarely has accidents in underwear, and loves to announce to people that she's a big girl and always pees and poos in the potty (which is just not accurate- she's pooped once in the potty). So there are days she asks to wear underwear. And on those days, she REFUSES to poop. Doesn't talk about it or anything. Just holds it in. And then, we're right back to me poop doula-ing it out of her after 2 or 3 days, sitting in the bathtub and cheerleading it on. UGH. No one enjoys this. And it's been 2 years now, so I'm just OFFICIALLY OVER IT.

So I bought the book "It's No Accident- Breakthrough solutions to your child's wetting, constipation, uti's, and other potty problems" by Steve Hodges.  Not gonna lie. Don't love his love for miralax. But he does have a lot of good advice in this book, and insight. And I am totally gonna do an enema on girlfriend because I have a feeling if we x-rayed her we'd find a pretty good sized poop mass. I'm hoping we can clear her out, and then get a fresh start with the pooping and the potty training- leaving out the miralax and keeping things soft with more fiber and more prune juice. It's just all a work in progress right now.

So yeah. That's where I'm at. everything comes down to poo.

loves!!

"Genetic Roulette" a MUST SEE documentary

So I watched "Genetic Roulette" on June 15th with the hubbs and babygirl. I took 5 pages of notes- it would have been more but someone was cranky and needing to nurse sporadically throughout the hour and 25 minutes.

Let's start with it was really REALLY hard to not yell at the computer (and so I did). It was really REALLY hard to not stop it every 3 minutes to look at hubbs and say WHAT THE EFF!?!? (and so, I did). It was really REALLY hard to not look down at babygirl and think "how on EARTH did I not completely JACK UP your system while I was preggo with you?"- and then I remembered that I, in fact, did. And I'll spend the rest of my life ensuring that the damage is reversed and teaching her how to keep her body healthy.

And so friends, I'm going to share a good portion of the info with you, here. And I encourage you to RUN and watch this movie. Now. Right now. No more burying our collective heads in the sand when it comes to what exactly is being done to our food supply. And make no mistake folks. This is really only being done in the US and to some extent, Canada. Most European countries, Australia, many Asian countries and some African countries have banned GMO's, have banned Monsanto (aka satan's minion), and have DEMANDED that any and all GMO's, food dyes, chemicals etc be LABELED on their products. And by the way, they are. THEY ARE. They are either NOT USED in the products they import to Europe, or they are LABELED with a warning similar to cigarette warnings. For example, Kraft makes a macaroni and cheese for the UK that contains ZERO food coloring (the orange color comes from spices like turmeric) and ZERO GMO's. When asked why they wouldn't sell THAT SAME KIND here, they responded that based on their customer inputs, no one here wants that. Ummmm.....I call bull s***.  To say that my blood boils just knowing that a) they've already done this so they easily CAN and b) unlike the UK government who demanded it, ours just lets Big Ag do whatever the hell they please in the name of corporate greed is an understatement.

Awesome. 3rd paragraph in and shaking rage with boiling blood.

Did you know that 88% of corn and 94% of soy grown in the US is GMO? Staggering right!?! But, you say, I don't eat corn or soy so I'm good right? Do you eat any processed food at all? Because if you do, you are guaranteed eating corn and soy, in different forms (soybean oil, corn syrup, soy lecithin, hydrogenated oils, vegetable oil etc etc etc). Yeah, vegetable oil is really soy bean oil- it's cheap so that's what they go with. I strongly advise you only use organic extra virgin olive oil and organic coconut oil. And if it's not organic, chances are that olive oil is actually cheaper oils mixed together- that's just a whole nother post but seriously we're getting ripped off in a big way.

Did you know that GMO's have existed in our food supply since about 1992. Here's how (and partially why) they were created. They take genes from one species and force it into the dna of another species. They gave a few examples. That are horrifying. One was the dna of a cow forced into the dna of a pig so that the pig would grow cow hide. I'm sorry. I'm not anti-science. But that's just wrong. On so many levels.

There are 2 types of food GMO's- herbicide tolerant and pesticide producing. So. They force herbicides/ pesticides into the genes of plants (soy, corn, alfalfa, wheat, etc), and then those plants either are able to tolerate a crap ton of poison (Round-up weed and pest killer), or the plant produces that pesticide inside- meaning you can't ever wash it off. It's now part of the plants' dna. They've already proven that GMO craps, er crops, are less nutritious- Round Up makes nutrients unavailable to the plants, hence how they kill weeds. So you, and the animals that are eating these crops, are not getting nearly as much of a nutritional benefit as you may think you are. Plus, if you're eating the animals that are eating these crops, you're getting a double whammy of chemical poisons in your systems, not to mention the illnesses of the animals whose systems were not meant to tolerate this garbage either.  But I keep getting off track.

The gene sequence of the GMO crop is NOT FOUND IN NATURE (not surprising, since nature didn't create Round-up and didn't intend the crops to ever mate with it). Our bodies, then, do not recognize this as food. They see it as a foreign substance and ATTACKS it. This attack causes inflammation. And inflammation leads to a host of diseases- auto immune, crohn's, reflux, thyroid, not to mention diabetes and allergies (which was all known to the scientists at the FDA when this stuff was released into our food chain).

Let's just use common sense for a minute. Let's say you don't believe that this could ever happen. Here. the land of the free and all that. You don't believe that scientific evidence was covered up. Fine. I'd like you to think back on the last conversation you had about "kids today" with your peers, kids, grandkids, etc. You know you've made a statement like this:

"When I was your age, we could eat whatever we wanted in school. How is a kid so allergic to a peanut they can't even smell it!?!"

"When I was a kid, there was none of this gluten-free, dairy-free, nonsense. A glass of milk never killed you. A slice of bread and a bowl of pasta was hearty and healthy!"

"When I was a kid, we didn't have to take pills for ADHD. Our parents told us to just calm down and focus, and we did."

Do those sound familiar? Stop lying, of course they do. Of course you've said them. Because it's the truth. Who the hell wasn't ALLOWED to take a pb&j to school for lunch??  It was EVERY ONE'S lunch.

Now here's the common sense part. When did we start to see the rise of food allergies in kids? Of autism. Of ADHD. Of Crohn's disease. Of some SERIOUS childhood obesity problems. Of diabetes. Of KIDS WITH CANCER. When??  The mid to late 1990's. And it's SKYROCKETED since then.

Please please please don't tell me that you can read that and still say "it's just a coincidence".

It makes me weep. Literally. I'm literally crying right now. Because what we've done to generations of children, and ourselves??  What GREED and MONSANTO and GOVERNMENT has done? Produced a nation of sick people. Dying people. Fat people (while shaming them into believing it was all their fault). ENTIRE BUILDINGS DEDICATED TO CHILDREN WITH CANCER. I can barely even type that sentence out. There SHOULD NOT EVER be that many children with cancer. Who die of cancer. EVER. Of millions of women who struggle with some sort of reproductive issue- infertility especially.

THIS IS NO COINCIDENCE.

Would you like to know why?

In 1992, the FDA scientists were finding that GMO's were causing massive health issues in the animals it was tested on. Problems like tumors, infertility, obesity. They found that it could lead to an increase in allergies. That information was stifled. By who?

Michael Taylor. He was MONSANTO'S LAWYER. Who was then hired as the HEAD OF THE FDA, just in time to push GMO's into the generally recognized as safe category. He then was hired back as the CEO of MONSANTO. And he went back to the FDA again.

Monsanto. The makers of Round up (the weed killer and pesticide used on plants everywhere). Of course, if plants can withstand more Round up, Monsanto gets to sell more Round up. One better, if they can somehow create seeds that will produce it, patent those seeds, and then somehow are able to make everyone buy seeds from them, signing a contract to ensure that users must destroy their crops every year and buy new seeds from Monsanto yearly....well they stand to make quite a bit of money, don't they.  Yes, this happens. This is their operation. And getting one of their own to head up the FDA? Genius. And the FDA then made this statement- "It is the company's responsibility to decide if it is safe." SERIOUSLY!?!?!?  Good thing we have an FDA huh?

Oh and by the way. Monsanto made Agent Orange. Just so you have some idea of what kind of science we're dealing with.

And through all of this? There has only ever been 1 HUMAN FEEDING TEST. Just 1. GMO's have been on the market for 30 years now. And just 1 human test. And do you know what it found? Bacteria from the toxins stayed in our gut and continued to function. We don't poop it out. It doesn't pass through. It stays and wreaks havoc on our systems. Which causes "leaky gut"- where the lining of your stomach is no longer tightly woven...it now lets larger and larger chunks pass through. I'm gonna get personal, and a little gross here. My hubbs thought I was insane, and making stuff up when I told him that I could evacuate my meal about 10 minutes after eating it, and IDENTIFY what it was. He told me that it was impossible (he was pre-med for 2 years before switching to aero space engineering. he's kind of a smartie pants). I asked him if he wanted to see for himself. He declined. (Thank God, cause I'm not sure our relationship could have survived him inspecting my # 2's.) But guess what? I was right. Because I had some serious leaky gut. I was told by my gastroenterologist that I was malnutritioned. Turns out, when the food passes out of your stomach and directly out your anus with no digestion, you don't get any nutritional benefits. Do you know what else a leaky gut causes?  FOOD INTOLERANCE/ ALLERGIES. Perfect.

They also found that the toxin from GMOS's (known as BT toxin) is in EVERY CELL OF THE PLANT. Every cell. And it effects the plants (and us) the same way that it is meant to effect the weeds and pests- it slowly destroys them from the inside out. Yup. Why on EARTH would anyone think it would be safe to consume something that was DESIGNED TO KILL LIVING THINGS.  This info brought to you by the American Academy of Environmental Medicine, by the way. Not some radical activist group, lest you think that this is not "real" science.

Can I just tell you that I am only on page 2 of my notes? This is going to be a long post but I'll try my best to condense.

LIVESTOCK THAT EAT GMO FEED. For starters, cows were not meant to eat corn. They were meant to eat grass. In a field. Happy, wondering cows. So there's that.

There was a DRAMATIC improvement found in cattle and pig health when they were introduced to non GMO feed. Like, within 2 days, the health issues the farmers had been seeing disappeared. Not just one farmer either. There was better fertility, way less birth defects, no diarrhea, and the animals were much calmer.

Let's talk about milking cows, shall we?  Monsanto created a hormone to make cows produce more milk. They mixed it with E COLI to inject them. It's called RBST, or RBGH. And until recently, without going organic, there were no RBST free options. And even now, Monsanto fought (though they didn't have to fight very hard since it was one of their guys as the head of FDA that passed the decision) to have a label on all RBST free milk that says *there are no studies to show that milk from cows treated with RBST is harmful*. Total and udder cow dung. (you see what I did there?? good stuff.)

Would you like to know the REAL info on RBST?  Science has found that men are 4 TIMES MORE LIKELY TO GET PROSTATE CANCER. and women? 61.6% INCREASE IN BREAST CANCER.

The approval of RBGH was hugely controversial, and here is a FANTASTIC example of how our dollars worked FOR US.  It was immediately banned in Europe, Japan, Australia... (yeah everywhere except here). And we found out. And we got mad. And we demanded better. And so:
WALMART, STARBUCKS, and other big American companies STOPPED PURCHASING MILK FROM COWS TREATED WITH RBST.

People. That is huge. HUGE.

We have a voting voice. We vote with our dollars. AND COMPANIES LISTEN TO OUR DOLLARS.

Oh, and fyi. The Monsanto scientists that created the RBGH injection? They refuse to drink anything but organic milk. One actually PURCHASED HIS OWN COW to ensure that that stuff never touched his, or his family's, lips. NICE.

And the claim that GMO's are helping to feed the world? Well, we're finding it's actually the exact opposite. Organic crops always outperform them. And the documentary goes into great detail regarding what happened in India when GMO Cotton was introduced. It's shocking. But I'll let you watch for yourselves.

9 crops. 9 crops are GMO crops. And you think, well I'll just avoid those. But those 9 crops are found in 72% of foods. It's pervasive. It's everywhere.

And since the plants are all becoming resistant to round up (because of course, that's what happens- we learn that in freshmen science classes), they're using more and more and more. And now? They're finding ROUND UP IN THE BLOOD OF FETUSES. And in 60-100% of rain and air samples.

So how can we reverse GMO Damage? There is one way. And it's been proven to be effective ALWAYS. ALWAYS.

Go on a non GMO diet. It reverses the damage. You know what else it does? It tells Monsanto, and the fraudulent FDA, that we will no longer tolerate being slowly poisoned to death. Vote with your dollars. VOTE FOR YOUR HEALTH. Our food should not be poisoning us.  There are so many corporations that don't want to see this nation healthy. No, no conspiracy theories. But if you don't think Big Ag and Big Pharma are in bed together, nestled up nicely with the head of the FDA, you're missing a biiiiiiiig piece of this puzzle. But we'll get more into pharmaceuticals another day. I'm exhausted from the rage and the crying and the kicking my own ass for letting my babygirl be affected by this crap.

I love you. I want you healthy. I've seen WAY too many people in my life be taken by cancer. People that should still be here. People I love dearly. HEALTHY PEOPLE who should not have died. And I want it, I NEED IT to stop.

Please watch.

Loves!