Hell hath no fury like 3 weeks of "Vacation"...

So we were gone for a while. A long while. And we've learned some lessons. I'll share them here so you can avoid them at all costs. You're welcome.

FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY, DO NOT DRIVE TO SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA FROM SEATTLE.

I mean, you can. While 20 weeks pregnant. With a 2 year old. But I would not recommend this. It sounds like fun at first. You've borrowed a portable DVD player (LIFE SAVING DEVICE), you've made some yummy food for the road, you're staying over 2 nights in hotels to break up the trip appropriately. Seems like all should be good, right? Until. You decide that if you eat another homemade, organic peanut butter and jelly sandwich you might just lose your ever loving mind. So you grab some food. Which is, of course, garbage- even if you go to those few places that serve hormone free burgers and chicken. And then. You begin to experience the wrath of the toddler. The toddler who you forgot to change so she's soaked. SOAKED. And who was fine in the car, but now that you've decided to let her run around and get out some energy has suddenly turned into a screaming, whirling ball of angry. And forget trying to put her back into said car. Everyone around you will assume you're kidnapping her. Don't worry, the screaming subsides eventually. Just put on the Muppets soundtrack. But only the Mah Na Mah Na song. For the 367th time.

Also. Keep in mind you're driving with a preggo. So you may have just passed all those slow cars on that one lane highway through the mountains. But it doesn't matter. Because approximately every 20 minutes, said preggo WILL make you pull over so she can pee. Complain all you want. Just remember, driver, that YOU HAVE DONE THIS TO HER.

Congratulations! You have finally made it to San Diego! No one was stabbed so you consider this a win. And tomorrow night, Nana flies in to help wrangle the munchkin while daddy is at work all day long every day. Because this wasn't so much a vacation as a work trip that wifey and babygirl refused to let hubbs take by himself. And since preggo wifey is all high risk and can't fly, driving the total of 3,600 miles is a necessary evil.

This week goes by fairly smoothly. Nana is a HUMONGOUS help and babygirl only has a few meltdowns. Mainly in Disneyland, when we evil grown ups dared to try to cover up her pretty Ariel dress with a sweatshirt when the temp plummeted. Imagine if you were to dismember someone with a dull butter knife. THAT level of screaming and kicking. In the happiest place on earth.

Adorable. First thing in the morning, meeting the princesses. Precious.

End of the night. DAGGERS. Completely. Over. It.


We had many adventures, and then Nana had to leave. BIG MISTAKE. Tired preggo mamma and toddler replaced by a different, unhappy child that mamma didn't recognize in tiny hotel room with no vehicle and no healthy food options equals unhappy mess that really just wants to get the hell home already.  All the Peaceful Parenting books I read flew out the window as I found myself yelling 45 times a day "DON'T TOUCH IT!!!", "STOP SCREAMING!!" (always helpful when screamed), "STOP RIPPING THE BIBLE!!"

Finally, we are free to go. THANK. GOD. So we decide to take 4 days to drive home. This seems ridiculous in so many different ways, but when will we ever drive up the California coast back to Seattle again? Let's just do it. Back in the car. This time, zero amounts of homemade food since our hotel for the last week didn't even have a refrigerator. All crap, all the time. Stopped up, cranky, tired, homesick car load for  4 days. WOOHOO. Oh yeah and Thanksgiving is just a few days away, so let's menu plan on the drive home and order a turkey over the phone. The very last one left at our fave Bill the Butcher. A 15 pound turkey for 3 people??? SUUUUUURE. It's only $92. that is totally justifiable right? Hubbs? Less than pleased. Whatevs. We had turkey.

And in the final phase of ALL IS NOT FAIR FOR THE PREGGO ON A ROAD TRIP. Napa. We drove through, and stopped at, several wineries. In Napa. AND I. CAN'T. DRINK. Perfect.

Outside a gorgeous winery, where I got to watch hubbs sample some AH-MAAAAZING wines. UNFAIR.


So we get home. Sleeping in our own bed is heaven. Eating our non-processed homemade food again is glorious. Trying to get back into our routine? HELL. Apparently, 3 weeks gone equals one very very clingy, tantrum-y toddler. Who LITERALLY clung to me 24 hours a day for a full 2 weeks. Even while sleeping, her little arms were death gripped around my neck as she snored in my face. Which was adorable. Except have you ever tried sleeping in the same position, while pregnant and having to pee every 2 hours, for the entire night? Not. Pleasant. Naptimes were back to only sleeping with mamma- something we STILL have not been able to fix. And from the day after Thanksgiving and lasting an ENTIRE WEEK- we got hit with a cough and cold. It was mild. But. Our energizer bunny of a babygirl did not MOVE off of my lap for that entire week. I've never seen her sit still for so long. And of course that meant that every time I needed to move- to get water or food, to pee, to just GET UP, she freaked out and screamed, and I ended up having to wear her. which is SUUUUPER pleasant with my protruding belly. And getting prepped for Christmas? HA! Christmas cards will most likely end up being Happy New Years cards, decorations didn't go up until 2 weeks after Thanksgiving, and I'm still not sure what I'm cooking. And oh yeah we have to mail out all of our loved ones' Christmas gifts so maybe I should have figured that out weeks ago......

The shining light on this whole experience, besides of course getting to take babygirl to Disneyland which I've been BEGGING the hubbs to do for about a year now. We know, without a shadow of a doubt, that our organic, non-processed food lifestyle has a HUGE impact on our kiddo, and us. It took 2 weeks to get all that garbage out of our systems again and start having regular poops and attitudes. But I finally got my sweet natured, happy, helpful babygirl back! I was a bit worried she might have just entered that terrible phase and I would be SOL for Baby A's arrival. But nope. It was just all the junk in her system.

So I'll continue reading all the studies on behavioral issues in kiddos connected with high fructose corn syrup, food dyes and additives, and processed foods. But I don't really need to. I got to live it for a total of 5 weeks. And now? I don't care how tired I am. I don't care how difficult it will be with 2 kids. I will be cooking from scratch almost all of our meals from here on out. (I suppose I'll give myself a break sometimes and we'll go out to a trusted restaurant occasionally). But I can guarantee that that will be astronomically easier than dealing with a crazo toddler and an infant. 

It might seem like asking a lot from already tired, stressed out mammas. And trust me, I GET IT. But. If you're finding some behaviors from your kiddos a bit unsavory, just give this whole organic thing, and as much non-processed food as possible, a try for a few weeks. If it is processed, just ensure it doesn't have any artificial dyes and as few ingredients as possible, hopefully all ones you can pronounce. I SWEAR ON MY LIFE you will see a difference.

It's nice to have babygirl back. I'm gonna keep it that way.

Loves!

33 Years

I have been obsessed with my weight/ looks for as long as I can remember. I have also felt sick to my stomach for as long as I can remember.

Obsessed with food. will this make me fat? will this make me sick?  how many calories in it? will I have to throw this up? is this bite worth hating myself when I look in the mirror?

And I'm not alone. Not by far. Because EVERYONE I KNOW is thinking the same things. EVERY FEMALE I'VE EVER KNOWN has been on a diet for a good portion of their lives. EVERYONE has looked at pictures proclaiming how fat they are. We all talk about it. Like it's just the cool thing to do to talk about all of the parts of your body that you hate. That you wish you could zap away.

Nailed it.

I love and hate this. I love this because it shows how "plastic" we all can be. We can recognize this behavior in ourselves, and laugh about how ridiculous it is, while continuing to do it. I hate this because how many teen girls sat in that movie theater and went "if she hates her calves, mine are repulsive!" Not intending to at all, this scene sent a message that even skinny isn't skinny enough.

And I've had it.

The BILLION DOLLAR INDUSTRY that is the diet industry is profiting off of making us feel fat, shame for being fat, and giving hope that their product will be the cure that will fix all of the problems in your life. Cause when you're skinny you have no more problems right?

I have 2 little words for the diet industry. F*** YOU.

F*** YOU for pushing us to believe that we can't be good unless we live up to your standards.
F*** YOU for working arm in arm with Hollywood/ Fashion Industries to make the genetic freaks (yeah that's right Giselle...you are NOT THE NORM) the gold standard for woman.
F*** YOU for ROTTING US FROM THE INSIDE OUT. Knowingly. Willfully.
F*** YOU for KNOWING that your plan can not possibly be long term, that it will have TERRIBLE health consequences, and for pushing it anyway all in the name of the almighty dollar.

I read somewhere (and try as I might, I cannot find this blogpost again... ARGH) that the diet industry started after World War II. And it started because the men in power at the time were scared. Women had to start working, since their husbands were off fighting. Working outside of the home had given women some empowerment, and men were scared as hell. If they weren't able to keep their women at home and in-line, what would this country come to? So, they decided to hit us another way. Kill off our confidence by making us feel less than. Telling us that the way we looked, now that we were out in the work world, was the only important thing, and if we didn't measure up? Well then we simply were not worthy. I have zero idea where she got her information, but as far as all of the other research I've seen as to when the diet industry started? It all lines up. And so I choose to believe her. I think it's the same thing that happened with the mommy wars. Just more ways for women to tear each other apart and down. And this makes me RAGE.

I grew up in the 80's and 90's. Margarine was the healthiest thing for you! Buy that tub of country crock- butter is bad! So fattening! Instead eat this....only part of it is made out of plastic. Yup. Plastic. NEVER EVER EVER eat eggs! Especially the yolks! The cholesterol will kill you immediately! Don't use salt, use this fake it-kinda-tastes-like-salt-but-it's-all-chemicals-so-it's-good-for-you! NEVER EAT FAT! Fat makes you fat. Don't eat calories! Calories make you fat! Here, we created these little pretty blue and pink and yellow packets of powder that make everything SUUUPER sweet but no calories. and no fat. so dig in!

Snackwells, Fat Free Ice Cream (even the name is oxymoronic), fat free potato chips (they only cause a leeetle bit of anal leakage), fat free salad dressing, calorie free soda, sugar free everything.

Then it was onto NO CARBS!  Parents watch out, bread kills. Put down that potato. Put down that fruit. Carbs will send you straight to your grave! Isn't that why all Italians weigh 400 pounds!!! (oh yeah, they don't...let's just not mention Italy or France or just Europe in general....) If you just eat bacon and meat and cheese all of your problems will be solved! Stay away from the rice!  Look at all those fat people in Asia...err...no don't look there. Just STOP EATING CARBS.

Now, if you pay enough money, you can go ahead and buy a friendship with Jenny, pay for some pals over at weight watchers, or have meals sent to your house from Nutrisystem (you'll save SO MUCH MONEY in groceries....except that you have to supplement with fruits, vegetables, bread, dairy....).  Or just pay someone to HYPNOTIZE YOU so that you never have to eat again! Or wire your jaw shut. Or only drink green smoothies.

And HATE LIFE.

Oh, and be sick. Extremely sick. Like, diarrhea, constipation, stomach pain, feeling like there's an army of little men stabbing you in every single one of your vital organs. Develop headaches, exhaustion, muscle weakness, loss of hormones, too many hormones, depression, anxiety. AND GAIN WEIGHT.

So that's basically the story of my dieting history...of my life. Because food and life? they go hand in hand. You need food to live. It's not something you can just not think about.

But today??  Today I'm claiming VICTORY over the fraudulent diet industry.

I have NEVER FELT HEALTHIER. My skin is clear, my hair is normal, my cramps are not forcing me to take copious amounts of drugs to give the smallest amount of comfort, I get headaches once every few months and only when I sleep with my neck in a weird position, I no longer have to always carry ibuprofen with me, or immodium, or tums because I DON'T GET HEARTBURN, and I rarely have stomach issues anymore....(just don't ask me how I'm feeling after I eat some garbage food at an amusement park). This coming from the girl who vomited EVERY SINGLE DAY for over a year and it couldn't be diagnosed. Who pooped up to 12 TIMES A DAY for no apparent reason. Who gained a CRAP TON of weight and bloat but was somehow malnutritioned.

This, my friends, is a miracle. Oh yeah. And the best part? Yes, I now fit into clothes that haven't seen the light of day since I got married. Yes I actually bought, and WEAR a two piece for the first time since my honeymoon. Yes I'm loving the way I look and feel right now. BUT. EVEN BETTER. My BMI is in the normal range, my percentage of body fat is in the normal range, my bone density is fabulous, my percentage of water in my body is spot on, I'm sleeping normally, my body is functioning as a body should , I'm not tired, weak, bloated, irritable, crampy, achy all the time.

And I'm sure your first thought is "What diet are you on?"

ZERO. No diet. because diets are of satan. "Well what exercise plan are you doing?" None. I run after my toddler. I clean my house. We go walking with friends sometimes. I once tried to do a pilates video, but babygirl decided to sit on my head so that didn't last long. We dance. We chase the cats. We go up and down the stairs a million times because someone LOOOOOVES the stairs now. I give her airplane rides (I'm sure that counts as an ab workout, right?).

The point is, I'm simply living my life. I'm making food the way food was made waaaay back in the day. Or, the way it's made now in countries where people eat a loaf of bread every day, accompanied by pasta, chocolate and wine, and they are all itty bitty with some nice curves.

I let it go. Do I obsess about food? Nope....but I do get REAL excited to figure out what I'm making for dinner. Because I know it's gonna be delish, the hubbs will be excited and continue to let me not ever have to go back to work, and babygirl will chow down. Do I eat dessert. Hells yeah. Do I buy cookies or cookie dough? No. I make dessert. I swear, the cookies that have been raved about by many only took maybe 15 minutes to put together and another 12 to cook.

My "secret" is to simply eat REAL FOOD. Did you know that fat is good for you? That your body CANNOT function without fat? So we buy Kerrygold butter and cheese. It's made from GRASS-FED COWS- imagine that, cows being allowed to eat what cows were designed to eat and not being injected with artificial hormones and antibiotics. Eating Kerrygold butter is unicorns dancing on rainbows good. We only drink organic whole milk (I'd like to move to raw milk, but someone I know doesn't feel like spending $12 per gallon...) Did you know that drinking anything but whole milk is giving you zero of the nutritional benefits you thought you were getting from drinking milk, and the process they have to make it skim or 1 or 2 percent is not a particularly healthy one? Same goes for ultra pasteurized milk...stay away- if the expiration date is a few months out do not buy!We use a crap ton of extra virgin olive oil (organic or certified, because a lot of companies are slipping nasty crap into their olive oil and are getting away with it). We eat bread. I just make it myself. And it's not really that hard, just a little time consuming with the rise times. Bread should have 4 ingredients in it-take a look at the packages you buy. It's INSANE what they're putting in there.

We buy ZERO processed foods (at least for babygirl and I. sometimes the hubbs gets some organic frozen meals to take to work if I didn't make his lunch for the next day). Do you know what they put in processed foods? A lot of chemical stuff to allow it to sit on a shelf and never expire. Also, they add gluten to almost everything. No wonder everyone and their mother is allergic to it. I was too. But not anymore!

Is this lifestyle easier? For me, it is. Mainly because I've always loved cooking, and I come from a family where everything was homemade. And also? I'm a food snob, and once I've tasted what REAL FOOD tastes like, I can't really go near the other stuff. It really is disgusting. 

Now. Obviously there are some meals that I make that are fairly time consuming...like lasagna. And when I make it, I make it in huge quantities so I can freeze it and we can have a yummy made from scratch meal when I'm just feeling lazy. However, the majority of meals that I make take no longer than 30- 45 minutes to put together. I do buy pasta for a lot of the pasta dishes I make, but I buy organic, made in Italy pasta that has only 3 or 4 ingredients. So, not Barilla. Or the blue boxes.

I have discovered a bunch of different ways to save time, save some money, and make yummy food. So I'm thinking perhaps I just need to host a big ole cooking party and we can all learn how to make different stuff. Fun and yummy. That's my kinda party.

So, the take away? After a lifetime (I'll be 35 in September, and I've been on this path for almost 2 years) of complete and total obsession with food, not eating, and being sick, I can breathe easy if we have plans for dinner AND something afterward. After years of battling an eating disorder, I'm no longer embarrassed to eat in front of anyone else, I no longer think about food 24/7, I no longer hate my body, I no longer miss out on life.

I seem to have not only healed my body, but I just may have healed my soul too.

Loves!

Closer to Fine- The Indigo Girls and Me

One of my all time favorite bands. The Indigo Girls provided the soundtrack to my high school and college days. Teenage angst, love, hate, break-ups and make-ups, searching for who you are...they were with me every step of the way. The first boy I really loved, and his passionate serenading me with "Romeo and Juliet" after we broke up, in front of my friends and cast mates (completely embarrassing then- now one of those moments I'll never forget because, seriously, when does that happen outside of the movies right??). My tool bag boyfriend and all the ways he made me feel less than had me scream singing many an IG song in my car parked at the inlet. My very first Spring Concert teaching my very first Freshmen Girls Choir where I arranged my very first song- "Let it be Me" with one brother on the piano and the other on the congas (introducing an entire new generation to the awesomeness that is Indigo Girls).  Little failures and little victories all come flooding back just by putting on "Rites of Passage".  My brother and I still love to rock out in the car to any one of their albums, naturally picking up the different harmonies and just chillin.

So, why am I waxing on about my band love?

Because last night was HUGE for me. MOMENTOUS. And I owe it all to our organic lifestyle.

Stop saying that's the dumbest thing you've ever heard. Hear me out.

Prior to last night, the last concert I attended was Creation, held at the Gorge, for 3 days, about 7 years ago. My brother and I went with a few friends. The entire time, the only thing I worried about was getting sick to my stomach in a place that only had portable toilets. Cause eww. So. I didn't eat. I tried not to drink too much water. Anything to keep my body from doing what it usually did. To say that this hindered my enjoyment is an understatement.

Since that time, I have been avoiding activities, hikes, experiences, LIFE in general. Because my body ALWAYS plays mutiny. The hubbs and I have missed out on so much because I didn't feel good. How crappy is that? How awful to miss a large chunk of your 20's and some of your 30's because of your literally shitty system?

So, while at the zoo with a friend, I saw that my fave, the Indigo Girls, were playing a concert. AT THE ZOO. And I decided that I was gonna take babygirl to her first, and best obviously, concert. Getting ready for it, I will admit, there was that little voice waaaaay back in my head trying to creep in, reminding me not to eat too much before or while we're there cause I don't need to get ill at the zoo, but I largely ignored it. I was just excited. Not nervous excited. Not "well i'm probably gonna puke right before and have to cancel" excited. Just plain ole excited.

And the concert? ROCKED. We had a blast. I didn't immediately spot all of the places where I could go and quietly puke if I needed to. I didn't have an escape plan if I had to end the night early (hubbs and I NEVER car pooled with other people. just in case.) I just went. And sang. And danced. And watched babygirl make new friends and enjoy some good music.

And that, my friends, is why I'm so passionate about this whole new lifestyle thing we've got going on over here. Because unless you've lived a life with an unknown illness that robbed you of every little single last bit of enjoyment and health, you have no idea how grateful I am to have a night like last night. And I want to have SO MANY of them. I want my daughter to have the kind of amazing experiences with me, and the hubbs, that I had with my parents growing up. Seriously, who else's mom threatens to ground them if they DON'T get on that roller coaster? (she knew I would love it if I would just stop worrying and get on. and I did). That woman was basically the director of all activities for us, our friends and some of the neighborhood kids. Every summer day was amazing- trips to Six Flags Great Adventure, trips to the beach, bike rides, volleyball in the backyard, bbq's at our house while a bazillion of us played "keep away" in our pool. (keep away is a fun, and dangerous game we created where you simply have to keep the ball away from the other team by ANY. MEANS. POSSIBLE.) Crab man - where our insanely strong dad would walk sideways throughout the pool, grab you under his arm and you had to try to get away. Regardless of how many kids he captured at the same time, no one ever escaped. ever. Because he's crab man.

My parents were (and still are) young and fun and active and the memories they made for me, my brothers and all of our friends I will treasure forever. and I want that for babygirl. And we're well on our way to that now.

It's just kind of amazing what not vomiting daily can do for your life.

Loves!

What's on the Menu?? How Should I know!

I don't really feel ranty (unless, of course, you'd like to talk about the absolute LACK of driving ability I continue to find in this state), so I figured I'd just try to be helpful instead. We'll just see how that goes....

Anywho, I love to cook. LOOOOOOOOVE it. I will admit, it's definitely more difficult with a toddler underfoot, but still. What I have found, though, is that I'm not always that creative (thanks Pinterest, for pointing that out). I have my standard faves, but I do love variety, and since eating out for us doesn't happen much due to all of my scary reading, then blogging, topics, I have to spice things up. I figured I can't be the only one who has this issue, so I'm addressing it here. Here goes.

First.  I'm not going to bother typing out "organic" in front of every single thing. That's just obnoxious. So just know that every single thing we purchase is organic. And if it's meat/ cheese/ dairy, we try to make sure that it is also all free range and grass-fed. (Cheese is just not that easy. For the most part we stick with that, but it's quite limited, and we find that cheese imported from Europe is trustworthy, since they banned most, if not all of the crap that we put in our cows.)

Second. You need to have a well stocked pantry. For us, that means extra virgin olive oil, coconut oil, dried beans, lentils, rice/ risotto, pasta, chia seeds, hemp seeds, nut butters, nuts, flour (unenriched, unbleached white flour, coconut flour, almond flour and quinoa flour), raw local honey, soy sauce, apple cider vinegar, balsamic vinegar, red and white vinegar, an assortment of spices like red chili pepper flake, turmeric, cumin, coriander, fennel, tubes of tomato paste, jars of crushed tomatoes, quinoa, tortilla chips, cornmeal, buckwheat, potatoes. I've been able to make every kind of food under the sun with just these items, and they don't go bad.  There *may* also always be chocolate chips and brown sugar in there. You know. In case people drop by and I have to make cookies.

Third. Well stocked fridge. We have a fabulous organic produce delivery service that gives us a box of seasonal, local produce every Monday. We've tried so many different veggies and fruits that we never would have because of this and I get so excited every week to see what I can make with that week's goodies. And, they allow you to go in and customize your order (of course, you can still only get seasonal produce), so if I'm not loving one thing, I can get something different. We also visit our local butcher (Bill the Butcher- FABULOUS!) to stock up on meat, usually a month's worth. Typically a whole chicken, some chicken breasts, ground pork, ground beef, bacon and sometimes sausage. We'll make seperate trips if we're wanting lamb or steak. Milk and butter are always on hand. maple syrup. I make yogurt every week so that's always in there. Eggs. Strauss Family Creamery Chocolate Ice Cream- we are officially addicted. And we get bags of organic frozen berries from costco that are always in the freezer. Cheese- always fresh mozzerella, cheddar/ dubliner, goat/ feta, parmesan, and usually one fancy pants cheese (brie is always a hit and gruyere is fabulous too). Siracha (that was actually my brother's doing, but I've used it so many times and it's always a good staple to have). The roasted garlic that I make about once every 3 months (SOOOOO much tastier than garlic powder- recipe is here. And of course, feta stuffed olives, because babygirl and I could eat our way out of a barrel of those.

And there you have it. You can basically find all of those things in my house at any time. And I swear, 99% of the meals that I make and post about on my Dear Dinner Diary page are made up of those ingredients.

You'll notice I don't list any condiments on there (minus dijon mustard- because apparently someone figured out how to make it using only mustard. amazing!) I started really studying the labels of everything, even the organic stuff, and I still was not loving what I saw. So we stopped buying them, and now I just make my own condiments. Sounds like a pain, but it is really easier than I thought, you can cater it to your taste, it's cheaper, and it's a million times yummier.

I lost track, but next number important step is to set up your kitchen the way it works best for you. Sounds simple enough, but I didn't really ever embrace that until fairly recently and HOLY CRAP what a difference! I would say the MOST important change I made was to ditch the grinders for salt and pepper. I got ceramic jars to hold loose sea salt and pepper in (you can really use anything that looks good on your counter and has a lid).

 My sea salt and pepper holders are in blue with a cork lid. Just watch a cooking show. Any one. And you'll notice that they all do pinches, or handfuls, of s&p. No grinders anywhere to be found. With good reason. I cannot explain to you how much easier my life got once I started using this trick. And all that other goodness on the counter? My must have tools. You NEED a zester in your life. It grates cheeses, lemon and orange peels, spices like cinnamon stick and nutmeg. Again, huge huge timesaver. and TONGS. They are magical. I will never ever ever flip meat or anything else over with anything else. Tongs are your friend. And of course, an easy pour container for your oil. Points if it's fancy pants.

Because my kitchen is my haven, I MUST HAVE COFFEE. And since the hubbs spent, arguably, too much time in Europe, an espresso machine was a need. So we invested in a Nespresso- without a doubt the best purchase of our marriage. Makes the perfect cappuccinos and lattes. And of course, I have my fave cookbooks out on the counter for easy access.

I will admit, I have an obscene amount of counter space. That was a must have when purchasing a house. But I used to waste it. I hid that kitchen aid mixer in my pantry for 5 years. In those years, I maybe used it a dozen times. Enter whole food movement. Mixer on counter, and I use it at least once a week. So when my in-laws bought me a Kitchen Aid Food Processor (yes, I am aware that I am beyond spoiled), that went right on the counter and is used almost daily (which is why there are no parts on the base- they're in the dishwasher).  And we decided to not use microwaves after reading a lot about them. First off, because they make food taste horrible. Admit it. And second, because who wants to radiate their food? So. We sold ours and bought a hood. Now my smoke alarm doesn't go off every. single. day. and there aren't lingering food stanks. It's bomb.

Now that your kitchen makes sense for you, you'll find it a lot more relaxing to be in there. I know it sounds stupid, but I promise you, it's truth. And you know, especially if you have kiddos running around, every little second of time that you can save is huge.

I roast a whole chicken (2-3 pounder) about once a week. It's nice to have chicken on hand for lunches since we don't do lunchmeats,  and I make stock, which is infinitely better than storebought stock, WAY cheaper, SO SO good for you, and I use in a ton of stuff I cook. I just freeze it in mason jars.

Now onto the meals!

I feel like it's kinda cheating. I feel like every day when I post my dinners, I'm taking credit for something that is not truly my own. But here's how it works.

While drinking our breakfast smoothies, babygirl fully absorbed in SuperWhy, I decide what protein we're going to eat for dinner. Either that or I see what fun produce we have and what I'd like to base my meal on. Then I go to www.thechew.com. I type in the protein or produce, and I scroll through the recipes. I read through a few until I find the one that sounds the yummiest. The Chew is a fairly new show, so sometimes it's a bit limited. If I don't find something there, I go to www.foodnetwork.com and type it in. Then scroll through. Sometimes, I combine a few different recipes of things that sound good. I typically have to tweek it for what we have in the house, or for our taste (we don't eat seafood, so I'll use seafood recipes and make chicken or pork). That's it. I take out the meat to defrost and about an hour before hubbs gets home I start cooking whatever it is I've decided on.

TOTALLY CHEATING. I don't rack my brain for new, creative recipes. I get inspired at times, but really, I'm just plagiarizing other chefs. Is that a thing? 

It typically takes me anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour to put dinner together...longer if I decide to make bread, tortillas, etc. Even making the dressings, condiments and other accouterments only takes a few minutes and a good whisk.

Then I take all sorts of pretty pictures, while the hubbs explains to babygirl that mama is nuts, and I brag on Pinterest. Because I suck at arts and crafts, but dammit I can cook so there!

Loves!

The Story of How I Got Like This, aka You should read this first

This will not be short. But it just may help someone who is having some health issues that remain elusive to traditional doctors and medicine. I will try not to curse out the doctors who didn't listen/ blamed me/were total ass hats too much.

I remember my tummy hurting in kindergarten. A lot. I'm pretty sure the teachers and nurses thought I was lying just to go home. But it seemed that I would worry a lot, and worry led to tummy ache. Cut to about 8th grade. We go to my pediatrician with my symptoms (I wake up really nauseous every morning). She first asks if I'm pregnant. I have yet to get my period or go on a date, so no. Then, we think ulcers. Makes sense- I hate school as I'm teased all day long about everything relentlessly. The cure? Some medication that didn't seem to make any difference whatsoever.

First day of high school- mom makes me breakfast, I'm looking all cute cause it's my birthday and I'm a freshman now and it's do-over time from the hell that was junior high. Get to homeroom. Proceed to vomit all over desk. Since I'm old, this was prior to our household owning an answering machine (we quickly got one after this little episode). Am forced to sit in nurses office all day long, while she happily chirps to EVERYONE that it's my birthday, I'm a freshman, and I puked in homeroom. Cue the pity looks from all the upper classmen. Awesometastic.

Soon after, the beauty of mother nature makes an appearance and I get my period. I also get days of pain that doubles me over and 3 days straight of puking. Every. Single. Month. Back to the pediatrician (yeah yeah yeah i did NOT want to see the "icky" doctor yet). She prescribes 4 ibuprofen, every 4 hours, starting a week before and going through a week after my period. Monthly. To those that know the crap they put in otc meds, your mouth is probably hanging open right now. If not, let's just know that ibuprofen is known to cause intense stomach issues- like chewing through the lining of it. So if I didn't have an ulcer before, I sure have one now. Did I keep up this regimen?  You bet! Did the cramps or nausea get better? Hell no!

Full Disclosure- I developed an eating disorder all through high school.  I was a cheerleader, I was carrying around some MAJOR insecurities from junior high (being called fattie, lassie, rin tin tin, and being mooed at on a daily basis will do that to you) and honestly, I just felt better when I didn't eat. And if I was forced to eat? I would puke. I was such a champ at it already, it wasn't hard to force it. I barely had to. I have no idea how it's possible, but I never got under 112 pounds. I will say that I thought this was absurdly unfair, but I suppose God decided I needed to not be rail thin, and so it goes. I guess that did not help my digestive system. I just got used to not feeling well.  I would especially make sure never to eat before any event- football game, play, concert, hanging out with friends, taking a walk. I'd find that my stomach could not handle it, and I would get super nauseous, AND the other end would start acting up. Yup. I'm doing it. I'm talking about poop. And not dainty little female poop either. I'm talkin' loud, embarrassing, I WILL NEVER DO THIS IN A PUBLIC RESTROOM poop. Do you know what the definition of hell is?   It's giving a girl a SERIOUS intestinal problem AND intense bathroom stage fright. Just. So. Wrong.

Anyway, all that to say that I did zero to help my stomach issues, and probably just exacerbated the problem. Things didn't get better in college. I was still holding onto my eating disorder, and my stomach began to betray me. Like, sitting in a quiet, crowded room and holding in gas only to have my stomach FART FROM THE INSIDE. So loud. So embarrassing. So the opposite of what I was trying to do. At least it didn't smell...

I eventually went to the icky doc to discover that I had endometreosis via surgery. The cramps got a bit better after that (as did the meds...thank you percocet), and I was put on a strong birth control to help the endometreosis not come back. My stomach liked none of that. We went to a gastroenterologist. I wish I was making this up. But this actually happened. They said there was a strong chance that I had a dairy intolerance, but they couldn't do the test because SOMEONE STOLE THE MOUTHPIECE OF THE MACHINE YOU BREATHE INTO.  I'm fairly certain crap like that only happens to me (the story of how I couldn't take my driver's test because the driving teacher I had broke the steering column of her car in half, or the tow truck driver taking me and my car home who fell asleep behind the wheel doing 70 on a highway and I couldn't wake him up fo a while so i made him just drop me off at some gas station in the middle of nowhere....yup. those happened too.)  So I stayed away from dairy. Didn't help.

As the years went on, and I started teaching high school music, more of my body started to fail.  I got really really really bad acne. Like I took acutane TWICE and it still didn't go away bad. And I was sweating like a man. A big, hairy, heavy man who just ran a marathon. Sweatstains from pits to pelvis, which looks fabulous when I'm conducting a choir. I just thought I was doomed to be abnormal and won't these be funny stories to tell me kids someday if I'm not too grotesque to land a husband ha ha ha.  So I used prescription strength deoderant (bring on the aluminum!), stayed on the pill to help my skin, continued to not eat in public, or before any events, or really anywhere except my house, and I got married and moved to Washington.

And s*** got real. I started putting on weight like crazy. I felt awful ALL. THE. TIME. I was always so tired and so sick to my stomach. My poor hubbs. We literally couldn't do dinner and a movie, because after dinner I would immediately have to go home to use the bathroom, where I would spend a good portion of my evening cause it was a continous thing, not just a one and done deal.  We never went out, we cancelled plans all the time because I was just ill. Then came MY YEAR OF VOMIT. I threw up, every day, about the same time (6 pm) for a little over a year. And I was still gaining weight. GAINING WEIGHT!! So back to the gastroenterologist I went. She was a gem. She didn't really register what I was saying to her, she completely dismissed the fact that my aunt had been having abdominal issues that they diagnosed as IBS for 2 years until they discovered that she had ovarian cancer, she told me it was just IBS and gave me a book to read on it (gotta love an Irritable Bowel Syndrome book), gave me FIBER which just made the problem a million times worse, AND the cherry on top?  She said to me "IF YOU WERE THROWING UP EVERY DAY, YOU WOULD BE SKINNIER". R.A.G.E.

Colonoscopy, upper GI tests, all uncomfortable, all finding zero wrong with me. I was sent to an allergist, who poked my arm with 6 different needles and told me I was allergic to nothing.

And then, my chiropractor, Dr Dana McCracken (yes that IS his real last name) asked how I was feeling.  And I was honest with him. and he said "we have an awesome naturopath that we share an office with. Make an appointment with her". And I thought, doctors are stupid, so no. This was 2 years after I took myself off of birth control, and there were no pregnancy scares. 2 years, and I thought "well I really wanted to be a mom, it's all I've ever wanted but maybe it's just not in the cards for me. maybe I'll just be a really good auntie some day".  But I finally made the appointment. I sat down and told her everything. She said it sounds like you have food allergies. Here let's take some blood. Blood went onto index card  with 8 little circles on it. Mailed to lab. 2 weeks later, back in her office we went over my results.

There are 96 different foods on this IgG/ IgE antibodies test. I was highly sensitive/allergic to about 92 of them. She had never actually seen someone who was allergic to carrots. She said that my poor body had been out of whack for so long that it just couldn't process any foods any more. So I had to eliminate EVERYTHING I was allergic to. For at least a few months. Then we would do the test again and see if my body was able to reset itself.

So I basically ate lettuce from the end of November til March. I immediately dropped 15 pounds, felt a million times better....and got pregnant with babygirl on February 6th. Turns out, eating foods that you are sensitive to can cause infertility.

Not gonna lie- my pregnancy SUUUUUUUUPER sucked. I threw up all the time. I couldn't keep anything down. Crackers and toast were the only things that sounded good. and it lasted the entire pregnancy. And babygirl came 10 weeks early, due to a placental abruption. We spent the first 2 months of her life in the NICU. I knew God had blessed me with this teeny little miracle who was SUCH a strong fighter, SUCH a jersey girl. and I knew I had to do everything humanly possible to ensure she was healthy and happy. I lived in the NICU, I pumped, I snuggled skin to skin with her, and I read. A LOT. The thing about reading is, you can't UNREAD it. you can't UNKNOW things. I felt responsible for her early birth, but I sure as hell wasn't gonna continue to make the same mistakes. no more chemicals in our food. no more processed garbage. no more pesticides. no more hormones and antibiotics. no unnecessary vaccines, no unnecessary medications, no formula, no added empty calories. this girl had gone granola for sure. and babygirl and I, we healed together. the docs and nurses and nutritionists listened, and we worked out plans for her not to be supplemented. and they said it couldn't be done, but babygirl left that NICU BREASTFEEDING- not taking it from a bottle. We went home and we bought only organic food. We started with meats especially, and dairy, then moved onto produce. We moved to condiments, then started cutting out almost all condiments because even the organic ones had crap in there we didn't want. We stopped taking over the counter meds- mainly because all the body aches and head aches disappeared. Nothing we eat comes out of a box or a can. We use only glass to store our food. We threw out the microwave and replaced it with an oven hood (the smoke alarm no longer goes off when we're cooking!!!) We didn't feed babygirl ANYTHING besides breastmilk for the first year of her life. and after that, it was all organic, and all made from scratch by me. I know I know, it seems a little extreme but a) i'm a virgo, type a, perfectionist freak job and b) i never want her to have the kinds of stomach issues i did so we're militant about what she eats.  We started buying the organic, hormone free soaps for her, and recently i've been making my own facewash and shampoo. We buy natural deoderant, natural soap, natural laundry detergent, no fabric softener or dryer sheets. no fluoride in our toothpaste. no tap water, ever. Replacing all of our hygiene/cleaning products was the final piece to the puzzle, and my weight has not been this low since the first year of our marriage. plus i have energy and we rarely get sick.

I wanted to make sure that babygirl and I were on the right track, so back to the naturopath we went for a blood test. My results were astonishing. There are only 4 or 5 foods that i am still highly sensitive to. Babygirl has a sensitivity to gluten and citrus, but she's young enough where we think her body might reset once we've removed them from her diet for a time. And she's SO healthy. SO happy. SO perfect.

So i'm just a little bit passionate about this whole organic way of life. i'm not sure if you got that....

Loves!